Ask For Help

Biggest Challenge: Mother has lost sight in right eye, the left one is going too. This scares me; she is still pretty independent, I do heavy cleaning, pay bills, drive to appointments, shopping etc. about twice a week. I know it’s going to get worse, but I try to keep her as independent as possible.

--Kathy

Response from DM:

Dear Kathy:

Thank you for the care and concern you are showing your mother. There are several things that you need to keep in mind. Most importantly, you can’t do it all yourself. Now is a good time to consider asking for help in some very practical ways, to free up some of your time and energy. If you are comfortable, for friends and relatives who may not have time to pitch in, consider asking for financial assistance so that you can hire some outside help and utilize other resources. People have a right to refuse your request, but they won’t even know that you and your mother need help, unless you tell them. If you try to do it all alone, you’re only going to hurt yourself in the long run. Caregivers have a tendency to over-extend themselves, at risk to both their own health and their financial and internal resources. Take the time to reach out to others, including family, friends, neighbors, and social and community organizations. Remember that if you don’t take care of your own health, job, and family and maintain a balanced life, you may suffer the consequences of this imbalance. Ask yourself: Who would take care of your mother, if you were no longer able to? Be as proactive for yourself as you are for your mother. Don’t forget that you are both important and worthy of assistance.  

Most sincerely,

Dr. Marion

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