Changing Circumstances

Biggest Challenge: I have been living with mom for the past two years. While her body continues to deteriorate, her mind remains sharp! At the start of this process, I was getting along very well with my two siblings. This is no longer the case. The reasons are many and for the most part irrelevant. My focus is on the health & welfare of my mom. The two of us get along well together…to be honest, better than I ever imagined. My siblings are pursuing the appointment of a guardian...trying to convince the courts that my mom is in danger! I am not sure what to do next! Should I resist this effort? If it is truly a move designed to benefit my mom, maybe I should just let it happen. My siblings feel that my mom is no longer capable of making her own decisions and is suffering from dementia...I just don’t agree! Your advice and counsel is welcome...my mom’s concerns are paramount, my own are secondary!

Best,

Jeffrey 

Response from DM:

Dear Jeffrey,

I am grateful that you and your mom have had time to get to know each other again and that you are able to be of assistance to her. According to your email, circumstances have changed and your siblings are now taking a more active role in your mother’s care. Since your mother may be going through some substantial changes right now and your siblings think it is time for guardianship, getting an outside opinion may be helpful to get to the heart of it—as well as to figure out the next logical step in her care. If you and your siblings are taking a legal route, please get in touch with an Elder Care Lawyer. They are specially trained to understand the issues of an aging population and they are up to date on legal issues regarding change of status, competency and guardianship. Please stay involved with the entire process so that your own knowledge and observations can be factored into whatever decision is made. Watching our parents age and go through changes is not easy for us, nor is it easy for them to experience. The legal system takes all factors into consideration in caring for our elderly population, and knowing that your mother is surrounded by people who care about her and want the best for her, makes a difference.

Sincerely,

Dr. Marion

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