I Don't Want To Care For My Father

 

My father is still living at age 86. He was never a great father (understatement). He wants one of us kids to take care of him. I really don't want to , as he never took care of us or our mother(who died 20 years ago). I feel awful, but we are already supporting family and we can't afford to take care of anyone. My husband is retired and we feel we have always lived our lives for someone else.

Cindy in New Jersey, 57

From your comments about your father, this is going to be very difficult for you. Sometimes seeing a spiritual leader or therapist may help heal these long-standing feelings. But my basic thesis is and always has been the same: the caregiver must figure out what they can and cannot take on in the way of additional responsibilities and move forward from there.

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